Observing your life and relationships

As human beings we are like machines. We are programmed over the years and make decisions which shape our lives and relationships. We create an identity that we decided is who are and how we want to be based on our beliefs, experiences and values.

Many of the programmes you give to your machine are decided in moments of powerlessness and fear, when you felt out of our depth or something had gone wrong that had deeply upset you. It could be that you’d witnessed somebody else’s behaviour and decided you were never going to be like that. You may have even become the complete opposite.

When you were young and didn’t have the life experience or maturity to deal with some of the challenging things you found yourself faced with, you created fixed beliefs and patterns as a way to survive in the world and protect yourself. It could be that you wanted to tell one of your parents something that was really important to you, and in a moment of busyness they snapped at you and told you to get out from under their feet. You could have decided that they’re not interested in you, they don’t have time for you and they don’t care. Unless this belief is recognised and understood through the eyes of an adult this decision may shape your behaviour into adulthood.

You could be someone who keeps things that are important to you to yourself through a fear of feeling hurt if someone’s not interested. This is not necessarily the truth, but because you have an unconscious belief from childhood that people don’t care this is how life occurs to you and it shapes your reality. You go around only showing part of yourself to people, never really opening up and sharing what matters to you, and experiencing the amazing feeling that being loved and cared about really brings. It may sound petty but many of the roots of your discomfort around your relationships today are either based in the past or projected in the future.